Later in the evening, when it was cooler,  Ronnie took me out to the Strand, an attractive promenade, by the Hooghly River, providing
relief from the congestion and clutter of the city thronged around it. Calcutta was pleasantly cool in the evening and many people
came out to the waterside for an outing. It seemed to be a popular meeting place for couples and young people. At one section children
squealed on a rundown ferris wheel as it resignedly whirled them around. Anxious young mothers looked up at their little ones,
fretfully calling out to them to hold tight. The fathers unperturbed ignored the fuss and chatted easily with each other.

"I always loved riding on the  hurdy gurdy when I was a child, I can almost bet this is the very same one," Ronnie smiled.

"Hurdy gurdy?"

"Yes, oh sorry, that's what we call these rides here. It's the old English term, I suppose. Some children also call it the giant wheel. I
could never do that any more; speeding around, churning up the whole body! High off in the air then swirled down to the ground all in
a matter of seconds."

Little did I know that one day life with Ronnie would be just like that hurdy gurdy . But for me there would be no squeals of laughter
and it would be next to impossible to get off.

We made our way down to the end of the jetty and stood quietly, staring wordlessly at the shimmering water dotted with small boats,
dinghies and overburdened barges. I tried to enjoy it all for Ronnie's sake, happy to be alone with him. I shivered in the cool breeze,
wondering if I would ever get used to the smells and customs of this complex city. Ronnie pulled me close to himself, his hand rested
tenderly on my hip. I clung to his arm as people walked past, some stared at us curiously; vendors, couples, families with little
children. A small group of street urchins stood a few feet away from us, checking us out, curious, chattering to each other.  A foreign
woman and a local man showing their affection for each other in public. Behavior that took place only in private or on the movie
screen. It was highly improper but I did not know that and obviously Ronnie did not seem to be concerned.

Later, we wandered over to a small flower stand by the roadside and admired the colors and exotic fragrances. Ronnie bought me a
garland of jasmine and laughingly tangled it into my long hair, still damp, hanging down to my shoulders. We ate huge chocolate cones
at a small ice cream stand owned by a friendly Chinese couple. Ronnie struck up a conversation with them and we learned that they
had a son living in Chicago. They refused to charge us for the treats, which really touched me.

"Come again, I make special sundae for you, talk about Chicago," they smiled as we waved goodbye.

"We'd better head back," Ronnie said kindly, "I did not tell them how long we would be gone," he explained, "and my mother will be
worried about us," he added.

The sound of the river lapping against the shore at my feet filled me with a strange, new kind of longing. The thought of his mother
filled me with despair. The endless cousins, aunties and uncles, children and neighbors who constantly wandered in.

"Oh please, Ronnie ...  Not just yet," my voice caught.

"What is it?" He was concerned.

I shook my head. How could I put my muddled thoughts into words?

"Tell me, Bronwyn," he persisted.

"Ronnie, do you think we could find our own house to live in? A place just for the two of us? Even a small flat or apartment, just so we
can be by ourselves." I fought to keep the desperation out of my voice.

He turned me slowly by the shoulders until I faced him. He raised my head with the fingers of his hand.

"It's all too much I suppose. Calcutta is a strong culture shock for you, Bronwyn.  I should have prepared you better. I know it is quite
different to the lifestyle you are accustomed to."

"I am willing to live in Calcutta with you, Ronnie. I admit it is not at all what I imagined. And I know it's going to take time to adjust. I
don't mind that. But I just don't know if I can live in such a small house with so many people. For a whole year." My voice rose to a
tense pitch that humiliated me.

I couldn't believe I had said so much. I tried to take back my outburst,"I'm sorry, honey. Maybe I'm just tired and it's been a very long
day. But I just wanted to tell you what my thoughts are. I never want to keep any secrets from you. I just think we will be much
happier living on our own, apart from your family."

Ronnie did not react or reply. He stared out across the water, as if he was trying to make out something through the blackness of the
tropical night. I could not tell if he was sad or angry and felt ashamed of myself for being so foolish, so bold. I touched his arm
hesitantly.

"Honey ?"

He did not move or respond to my touch.

"Ronnie. Honey, come on, let's go home."

He hailed a taxi and we rode back in silence. I was close to tears. How was I to get him to speak to me? What had I done? When we
started to climb the stairs to the apartment, I tried again.

"Ronnie, please, don't be mad. I didn't mean to upset you."

He took me by the shoulders and gave me a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"I'm not upset, Bronwyn, just sad. I've been thinking things through. I had not realized how different life is here. I had forgotten. My
parents are elderly. My father is ill and they need me. It may be a while before I can make any kind of permanent move."

My heart froze. He had promised he would take me back to America. Maybe I had misunderstood what I had just heard. I tried to pay
attention to what Ronnie was saying.

"And it's not that easy to simply pack up and move out, you know. It's just not done. We have the joint family system here. I am the
only child and a son at that. There will be a lot of hard feelings.  But let's discuss this later, when we are not so tired."

My heart leaped joyfully, relieved that at least all seemed well with us and he was not annoyed with me. I hugged him to myself but
only briefly, for the door opened unexpectedly and his mother appeared.  Silent and solemn, she stood there, looming in the doorway,
watching us. It was obvious she had no intention of leaving, so we broke apart, reaching down to unfasten and remove our shoes.  It
was past eleven o'clock but she had waited up and looked disgruntled and displeased.  She announced she had saved dinner for Ronnie
and me.

I refused to look at her.